Mar 6, 2017
Confession #1: I hate when bloggers get pregnant and say "Oh my blog won't change. You'll still get plenty of _____ talk here." Why do you need to explain yourself or make promises to your readers? Or worse yet, apologize when you do talk about that one thing you said you'd never talk about it? It's your blog! Write about what you want to write about! Pet peeve.
The reason I had such a long break from blogging was that there was nothing else in my life that I felt compelled to share. Sure, I have things going on aside from growing a baby. My job and the travel that comes with it is kind of fun, but not something I can share here. Our personal trips are really fun, but writing about them often feels like homework with a due date. Same goes for our house, politics, religion, books, etc. I have interests in those things, but I don't feel like they are something I get excited to write about. Perhaps that will change. Until then, it's baby all the time. We cool? Okay. Great.
Confession #2: I thought I was immune from the mood swings that so many women have in pregnancy. In fact, I was a little cocky about it. Anxious? Stressed? Hormonal? Nope, not me. Cool as a cucumber.
Brandon slept on the sofa the other night. He has this habit of falling asleep there while watching TV and it kind of annoys me because I sleep so much better with him beside me. I woke up at 3am to go to the bathroom and saw that he was still on the sofa, fast asleep. I went into a fit of rage that I didn't even know I had in me. I go into the den, rip his blanket off of him and demand that he comes to bed. In an act of pure evil (or genius, you decide), I go and turn down the thermostat so he'd freeze without his blanket. He comes to bed finally, grumbling, and I just start sobbing. Uncontrollably. The next morning I pretended nothing happened and he told me he was legitimately terrified of me.
So yeah, mood swings.
Confession #3: Baby gear overwhelms me. I'm stuck between wanting to buy the most economical baby items (they grow so fast) and choosing things that I know are good quality and will be used if we have a second child. I struggle with where to splurge and where to save. I spend hours researching and the more I research, the more confused I get. I worry about being judged for my choices whether they are insanely expensive or insanely cheap. I worry about wasting money on unnecessary things. I worry about not spending enough money on her. I'm basically a hot mess when it comes to baby gear. Truly, a hot mess.
Confession #4: I know that my life is about to make a huge huge change and will be insanely different and difficult, but if I hear one more, "Enjoy ____ while you can!" I might rip my eyeballs out. I promise to never ever say this to another pregnant woman. Though I'm sure I probably will.
Confession #5: I cried when I was reading Yelp reviews of local daycares. We found one that we thought would be a great fit and when I was about to email and inquire about a tour, I cried. I thought about the day that I'd drop her off and go back to work and it made me really sad. I secretly hope we don't get into any daycares (the waiting lists are outrageous) and I'll be forced to stay at home and make it work. On the other hand, I think about not going back to work and that makes me really sad too...how much I'd miss my coworkers, my paycheck, having a place to get dressed for each day. That's a heavy topic for another time.
On a lighter note, see that closet up there? Nursery progress makes me so insanely happy.
at 8:27:00 PM